An unwritten response...

July 10 2003 12:17pm - while on the clock

Rachel,

Thank you for your letter of July 7th. Why, if it weren't for people like yourself, I might nearly forget how socially worthless I am and the important fact that attractive girls like yourself only take time out of their busy agendas (of looking into mirrors and painting their nails) to acknowledge my existence if there is a computer or other technical issue of the utmost urgency that needs an immmediate answer.

How I enjoyed your first paragraph. It was a well-written prologue and convincing façade, which left me shocked, and in a state of despair, to discover that the next 98% of your letter consisted of the impersonal use-me-for-my-computer-knowledge crap that I should have been smart enough to suspect from the very start.

But Rachel, you are not the only offender. Oh, not by a longshot! (And by that, I am obviously referring to the upgraded hookshot from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, which kicks ass) Oh, no...how many other beautiful girls have used me for my knowledge? Britt, O Beauty of Hinderlie Hall: who else could have persuaded me to re-open the Multimedia Lab of my daytime occupation well after its usual closing time and provide all the assistance of my abilities? (Hopefully my boss isn't reading this...) Jaime M., you were my lab partner for a time. But how much of a partnership was it, really? Anna B., how much did it pain you to force yourself to be nice to me for some HTML lessons so many years ago? (That was back when home pages were actually cool to have - weird huh?) Alas! my pathetic days date all the way back prior to high school. For what other reason than my aptitude was I invited by Holly and Rachelle to sit at the "popular girls" table in Mrs. Holt's class??

So once again, thank you Rachel for reminding me of my pathetic vice. Small wonder that now I am left with little else than shame and malice because of my behavior. And no, I will not put my foot down. I will continue to let beautiful women use me because I am too nice to refuse, and then forget me 2.5 seconds after I have finished helping them out. So get back on your high horse, Rachel! Proceed to ride all over me, and invite all your beautiful friends, from whom my fellowship is in all other cicumstances prohibited. Let the using begin! For here I stand, and I can do no other.

But for the mean time, I will crawl back under my rock.

All-too-sincerely,

Darren

I am _not_ with Busey

July 8 2003 10:11pm - television...she's in my head

Gary Busey is retarded, or he is willing to pretend to be retarded on national television. Which is worse? Yet I continue to watch it, worthless sack-o-shit that I am. Busey is now talking about Atlantis, a topic of great interest to J.R.R. Tolkien, thus disproving the until-now uncontested adage great minds think alike.

Enough of that.

"Love ceases to be a demon only when he ceases to be a god." - M. Denis de Rougemont

So are these demons dancing around in my stomach or not? Don't even think about answering that.

-DMS

Darren = back

July 8 2003 10:30am - at work.....

That's right my site's back. I think you'll agree that I was pretty smart for taking down my website during its second wave of popularity and then waiting more than a year to replace the content.

But anyway, I was reading a friend's LiveJournal when I realized two things: 1. I might be able to write something decent from time to time. 2. If web development is my job, perhaps I should actually have a somewhat-updated web site.

And yes, any entries within the next months will probably be predictably lame since my lifestyle consists entirely of sitting around being worthless.

Highlight of today: spilling dirt all over the floor at work.

-Darren