She sings back:

With a twinkle in his eye, Tevi returns to the question:

The exasperated Golda replies:

That really is the question: What is love? For some, love is simply reduced to glandular excitement. For others, love an elusive emotion that needs to be felt. Others fear that they may never be loved or ever be able to love. Some say that love comes and goes in their lives like the tide.

What is love? Where does it come from? How do I know if I have it or not? What does it look like?

This little booklet is an examination of biblical love as expressed in three passages of Scripture: John 13:34-35; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and Ephesians 5:1-2. It is my prayer that as you read this, think about it, and study it, that the Lord would give you further insight and understanding into the true nature of love.

Rev. Jim Brooks
Pastor, Grace Community Church
Grace Community Church
jbrooks@techline.com

All biblical quotations from the New American Standard Update version, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1997 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

CHRISTIAN LOVE

The command to love one another

On the eve of His crucifixion, Jesus was in an Upper Room with His disciples. The "Upper Room Discourse" (the common name given to John 13-17) is Jesus' last words to His disciples. In a nutshell, He is telling His men, and us, how to live as Christians in the world.

Here is what He says in John 13:34-35: <

As we study Christian love, it is crucial that we understand what the Lord is saying here.

A new commandment I give to you. Leviticus 19:1 says: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. This old commandment pretty much says the same thing Jesus did. What, then, was so new about Christ's commandment? Christ did not mean new in the sense that it is brand new or has never been said before. But new meaning new in quality, new in degree, new in characteristic, new in basis. The foundation for love is different, which we will see later.

That you love one another. The New Testament was originally written in the Greek language. The verb love is a present, active, imperative. Imperative means that this is a command, not a suggestion. This is something that the Lord expects of each of His children. Loving one another is not something we have the freedom to ignore or not do. Present, active means that is a continuous action. So if we were to expand it, Christ is saying to us: continually love one another; keep on loving one another; let love be ever present; never be drawn away from loving one another.

Even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. This is the newness of the command. The new standard, basis and characteristic of love is Christ Himself and the love that He has shown to us. Think of the reasons why people love: they like each other's company or are physically attracted to each other; they are family; they come from the same social class; they have the same nationality or skin color. But Christ says that none of these are to be factors in our love for one another.

Another very important passage that commands us to love one another is Ephesians 5:1-2:

Be imitators of God?!? How can we possibly do this? He may as well be telling us to flap our arms and fly around the room. How can we who are finite and sinful possibly imitate God who is infinite and perfectly holy? This is not telling us to be a duplication of God in every way- no matter how mature we are in Christ we will never be able to create a star or a frog. The word imitators means "to be like or similar to" God in a particular way.

The particular way is that we are to walk in love. The NIV brings out the sense of this very well when it says: live a life of love. We are to imitate God's love to each other and to those around us. Just as we saw in the John passage, the verb walk is a present, active, imperative. This is a continual action that is expected of us as children of God; we are always to be characterized by love.

Just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us. The Cross of Christ is the standard by which love is measured. We, as Christians, are to love one another with the same type of love that Christ showed us- a love that is self-sacrificing and a love that has no restrictions on it.

Notice carefully how Christ's giving up of Himself is described: an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. These descriptions are rooted in the Old Testament sacrificial system. An offering is a voluntary gift, a sacrifice is given out of obedience. The Cross of Christ is an offering to God in that Christ did not have to do it. He did so willingly and voluntarily. The Cross was a sacrifice in that He did it out of obedience to the desire and will of His Father. The Cross of Christ is a fragrant aroma to the Father. The book of Leviticus uses a similar expression 17 times to describe the offerings and sacrifices brought to the Lord. As a fragrant aroma Christ's offering and sacrifice on the Cross pleased the Father, satisfied Him, and is good in His sight.

Why should I love others?

These two passages could be multiplied many times over to prove the importance of Christian love. These passages also give us four reasons that should motivate us to love one another.

(1) I need to love others because it is the command of the Lord.

In essence, this is the simplest and most basic answer. Jesus said in John 15:14: You are My friends if you do what I command you. The child of God who is saved by the Father's sovereign grace should have as his first priority to live a life of obedience to the commands of Christ. Just the simple fact that Christ commanded us to love one another is reason enough for us to strive to do it with all of our heart, mind and soul.

(2) I need to love others because it is my greatest witnessing tool.

In John 13:35 Jesus said: By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. This is an incredible statement. Christ says that the greatest witness His people have to the world is the love that we have for one another. Evangelistic zeal, working hard to fill a stadium with people to hear the gospel, having a big church building that is filled to capacity with incredible singing and a smooth running service all have their place. But Christ said that the primary way we prove we are His disciples is when we reflect His brand of love to one another.

(3) I need to love others because the Father loves me.

Ephesians 5:1 says: Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. Do not pass over this little phrase beloved children too quickly because it speaks volumes about the Father's relationship to His people.

Several years ago a friend of mine asked me: "Does God love everyone the same?" He has a son who is two weeks older than my son, so I asked him: "Do you love my son or do you love your son?" Of course he answered that he loves his son. Even though he cares about my son and his well-being, as a father his love is reserved only for his own son. This fact of God's love reserved only for His children is brought out in 1 John 4:10-11:

The Lord gives what is called "common grace" to everyone: rain, sunshine, etc. But the love that He poured out on the Cross is directed only to those who are in Christ.

This passage goes on to say in verse 20:

A Christian who claims to love God yet has disdain for the people of God is one who has not understood the profound implications of the Cross of Christ and is being quite a hypocrite. "Oh, I will receive the Father's love for me! But I am justified in not displaying the Father's love to others." This is nothing but sheer hypocrisy. Since the Father has poured out His love on my dark-hearted, rebellious soul, then I need to reflect His love to others.

(4) I need to love others because it pleases the Father.

Remember that Christ's offering and sacrifice is called a fragrant aroma in Ephesians 5:2. Walking in love or living a life of love is a fragrant aroma to the Father. It pleases Him, it satisfies Him, it is good in His sight. It does not smell to Him, it does not make Him choke or want to spray air freshener around to remove some offensive stench. The natural desire of the child of God who has the indwelling Holy Spirit ministering in his life is to please the Father. If this is not a Christian's desire, then there is something desperately wrong with the health of that soul. A child who is loved will naturally want to please those who love him. We who are in Christ have been loved with a love so deep and profound that we cannot plumb its infinite depths.

We can see that Christian love is very important. Up to this point, however, all we have done is laid some groundwork; we still do not know what love is or what it looks like. The beauty of God's Word, the Bible, is that it all fits together to give us one message about God's will and desire for His people. In one of the most beloved chapters of the Bible, the Lord through the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 details what Christian love looks like.

The many facets of love

In 1 Corinthians 13:13 the Bible says: But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. The greatest quality in a child of God is love; the greatest characteristic is love, the greatest witnessing tool of the church, is love.

What is love? The Word of God tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

I liken this passage to a diamond. Like a diamond, love has many different subtle cuts and facets that shape it to make it a thing of beauty. This is the purpose of these four verses, to show us the many facets of love.

Love is patient

We are to love the way that Christ and God loved us. Has God showed us patience? Oh yes He has.

The Lord is slow to anger (Numbers 14:18)

The word patience means "greater than anger, slow to anger, restraint of anger." The anger here is that quick, outburst of anger, an anger that is easily aroused. A patient person will not have that quick fuse but will retrain their temper.

All of us have something that will set us off in a second. Mine is the tailgater. I can feel my blood pressure rise when they do not give the proper distance. In my unsanctified moments, I will give the driver a horn shot or flash my brights at him when he gets around me.

What gets to you? What makes you impatient? What gets under your skin? What gets your goat? What sets your teeth on edge? What makes you angry? Unruly children? Wives, maybe it is when hubby does not live up to expectations. Husbands, maybe it is when the wife hits you with a thousand household problems right when you walk in the door after a tough day at work. Is it when life does not go your way? When people fail in their responsibilities? Stress? The dog? Everything in general?

Love is patient and it means that we will control our angry passions. We will not give into them. We retrain ourselves when we are tempted to burst out in anger, even if we may have a good cause to angry.

What is love? One facet of love is patience. When we are patient, then we are reflecting the love of Christ.

Love is kind

The word kindness means "to show favor to others, to do good to others, to be gentle with others." God shows this even to those who are ungrateful, even to those who are wicked. We as His people are expected to show the same favor and goodness and gentleness to one another.

Patience and kindness go hand-in-hand and they really cannot be separated from one another. Patience is when I suppress myself; kindness is when I express myself. Patience will make me restrain from laying on the horn when the tailgater comes around; kindness will make me back off so that he has plenty of room to pull back into the lane. Patience will make the wife bite her tongue; kindness will cause her to make hubby his favorite dinner. Patience will make dad not snap at the kids after a tough day at work; kindness will cause him to play with them and spend time with them. Patience will make us hold our tongue when someone gets in our face and calls Christians a bunch of narrow minded, intolerant, bigots; kindness will make us take them a meal when there is some disaster in their family.

Face it, it is hard to show kindness to the ungrateful, to be gentle with those who are abrasive, and to show favor to those who are enemies of Christ. But at one time all of us who are Christians were once ungrateful, abrasive and enemies of Christ, yet He showed us kindness and He calls for His people to show the same kindness to others.

What is love? One facet of love is kindness. When we are kind, then we are reflecting the love of Christ.

Love is not jealous

Jealousy-- the green-eyed monster. Love is not jealous means that love is not envious, love does not covet, love is not greedy, love does not have that overpowering lust for something that someone else has.

Galatians 5:20 says that jealousy is one of the deeds of the flesh. This means that because of our natural bent toward sin, we are naturally bent toward jealousy. We see jealousy, envy, greed in our culture and it does nothing but destroy. James 3:16 says: For where jealously and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. An athlete that is paid a gazillion dollars a year becomes jealous because someone else gets a bigger contract, and it destroys a team. A pastor craves to have the biggest church in the city, and it destroys a church. A wife envies some other woman's house and a family is destroyed. A husband lusts after another man's wife, and a marriage is destroyed.

Jealousy and envy are so rooted in us that even if that athlete gets a bigger contract, he will still want more. Even if that wife gets her dream home, she will eventually become dissatisfied with it. Jealousy will never be satisfied with what we feed it. As Proverbs 30:15-16 says:

Like a leech that sucks the blood out of its victim, so jealousy and envy eats at our hearts with a never ending hunger. We feed it, and all it says is "give," "give." The grave is never satisfied with its victims. The barren womb is never satisfied with children. The earth is never satisfied with the rain it receives.

The fire is never satisfied-- it wants more. Yet all these pale in comparison with the fire of jealousy that burns in the human heart.

Since love is not jealous, then what is it? Love means that we will be satisfied with what the Lord gives us. We will be content with what we have-- our job, our possessions, our family. And when He blesses another person, we will genuinely rejoice with them. We will share their joy and be truly happy for them.

We used to work with Campus Crusade for Christ. One of our responsibilities was to raise our own financial support. One of my classmates and good friends in seminary was also with Campus Crusade. It seemed like every week he would be telling me of some church that had just given him a huge contribution to help pay for seminary. I can honestly say that I rejoiced with my friend over God's blessing to him. But at the same time, it was hard not to be jealous.

"I am just as faithful as he is," I would think. " I am just as godly as he is. Why is God blessing him and not me? Why is God allowing him to pay off his tuition bill as he goes, and I am racking up thousands of dollars worth of debt?"

Well, the Lord blessed us tremendously and we were able to pay off seminary as well. I talked to my friend about this a couple of years after we graduated and confessed to him how I had to deal with jealousy. What is ironic is that he and his wife struggled over being jealous toward us because we had a family and they did not, and we owned our own home while they rented!

When we are not jealous, when we are content with what we have rather than moaning and groaning over what we do not have, we are showing love. This is a powerful witness to a culture that is steeped in jealousy, discontent, envy and greed.

What is love? One facet of love is not being jealous. When we are content, then we are reflecting the love of Christ.

Love does not brag and is not arrogant; it does not seek its own

These three characteristics are close cousins to one another so we will put them together under one heading.

Love does not brag. Love is not boastful. Love is not conceited. Love is not pompous. Love is not arrogant. Love is not bloated with self-conceit. Love does not treat others with contempt or scorn. Love does not seek its own. Love is not infatuated with self.

Remember King Nebuchadnezzar? He was standing on the rooftop of his palace, surveying the beautiful city of Babylon, reflecting that he was the most powerful man of his time. In Daniel 4:30 he says to himself: Is this not Babylon the great, which I my have built as a royal residence by the might of my power and for the glory of my majesty? Pompous, arrogant and conceited. If you do not know the rest of the story then read Daniel 4 to see how the Lord showed this boastful king that he was really nothing.

Really all three of these can be summed up in one word: Love is not prideful. The Lord has a lot to say about human pride.

Boastful pride of life. Prideful attitudes, puffed up and conceited, snobbish, looking down the nose at others, putting on airs, getting on your high horse. That comes from the world-- the world that is apart from Christ living in its own misery and sin and darkness. Since this is of the world, that means that no Christian should have any part of it at all and we should avoid it like the plague.

Now when the Scripture condemns pride, we have to be careful to realize what it is condemning because we use the word "pride" a lot of different ways. Taking pride in a job well done or taking pride in our children are fine. What Scripture condemns is the tendency we have to strut around and draw attention to what we have or what we do in order to bask in the admiration of others, flaunting ourselves in order to make ourselves feel superior to others. This is what Scripture condemns, and this is what the Lord hates.

The word abomination means "repugnant, loathsome, repulsive." The proud heart to the Lord is more repulsive to Him than the sick feeling we get when a slug squishes between our bare toes.

How many times have we seen Christian leaders, pastors, missionaries, elders, deacons, become proud, vain, bloated with importance over their position, only to fall into ruin and destruction and disgrace? How many times have we seen athletes, entertainers, movie stars, politicians, business men, reach the top to only become proud, arrogant egotist, puffed up over their accomplishments? And just as quickly, they fall, never to be heard from again.

I saw a young man wearing a t-shirt that was advertising some company. The message on it caught my eye: "Finding the common thread in every human heart." May I suggest that pride is that thread. Pride is ingrained in the human heart. It gives birth to discontent, ingratitude, selfishness, greed, presumption, extravagance, and bigotry. It has been said that pride is at the heart of every sin.

Love does not brag, love is not arrogant, love does not seek its own. This tells us what love is not, so let us turn this around and say what love is. Since love does not brag, then love is modest. Since love is not arrogant, then love is humble. Since love does not seek its own, then love sees others as more important that self.

When we show love, we will be modest and rather hesitant to talk about ourselves.

Humility means that we realize that all we have and all we are comes from God, that we are dependant on Him for everything-- and that is true humility.

This seems almost like convoluted thinking to us. The world loves the strong, independent man or woman who are confident in themselves. But that only brings about their own destruction. God says that it is the humble-- those who recognize their dependence on the Lord-- who will have the place of honor as

Proverbs 22:4 says:

When we are humble toward others, then we will not be so eager to tell them of our life, our problems, our plans. But we will want to listen to their life, their problems, their plans. This shows them love, and this is a powerful witness to a world that is wrapped up in itself.

What is love? One facet of love is not being prideful. When we are modest and humble, then we are reflecting the love of Christ.

Love does not act unbecomingly

The golden age of popular entertainment had long since passed. To get laughs, the entertainment of the day offered up a regular diet of vulgarity and violence. To boost ratings, immoral acts, both simulated and real, were given for public consumption. The culture was rift with violence, vulgarness, and sexual and moral confusion. Divorce was easy and nearly half of all marriages failed. Unwanted children were cruelly discard. Adultery and fornication were commonplace and accepted as human weaknesses. Homosexuality was seen as something good, and right and moral for those who wished to engage in it.

Does this sound familiar? I am not talking about modern America but about the Roman Empire in the first century. Into this world, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, Paul wrote to the Corinthians that love does not act unbecomingly.

The word unbecomingly means "to act shamefully, to act indecently." It was a polite substitute word for human excrement and for the genitalia. So to not act unbecomingly means to not be vile or vulgar. Love does not pass the bounds of decency, love is not perverted or decadent, love does not wallow around in the gutter.

In the city of Corinth this would be an especially pointed comment. Not only did they live under the general moral darkness of the Empire, Corinth was also the center of worship for the goddess Aphrodite. Aphrodite was the goddess of love, beauty and fertility. She personified sexual drive and was the mother of erotic love. Her temple in Corinth housed 1000 male and female prostitutes who gave their services in worship of Aphrodite. On every street corner in Corinth was suggestive billboard. The sitcoms would feature sexual innuendo and vulgar jokes. The newspaper editorials would point out that the local Temple was the area's largest employer and was a huge economic asset for the local community.

Christlike love will not give in to the moral darkness that surrounds us. Ephesians 5:3-4 has some pointed teaching on this.

No filthiness. No obscenities, no foul or vulgar language, no talk or noises or gestures that indecently refers to sex or private body parts or body functions or immoral sins. Really, this is all encompassing. No thought, or imagination, or desire, or fantasy, or word, or action that is contrary to the pure and holy nature of God.

No silly talk. This word literally means "the words of a moron." No foolish babbling, no empty chatter, no idiotic speech. Listen to Proverbs 15:2:

No coarse jesting. This refers to jokes and puns, plays on words. The Scripture is not condemning jokes and humor, but it is condemning a certain type of humor-- coarse jesting, ribald humor, gutter jokes, bathroom humor, locker room jokes, puns that are indecent.

We all know people like this and after a while it gets old. We find ourselves not saying anything around them because we know what will happen: Something is said, they get a twinkle in their eye, the mouth goes up in a leering grin, and whatever is said gets twisted into a sexual innuendo, an indecent biological function or a body part, or they use it to tell some crass and off color joke.

Would it be that that quick wit and sharp mind would be used to point people to Christ rather than to the gutter.

They may laugh, and they may get quite a kick out of their perverted sense of humor, and others may hee-haw over it as well. But the Lord is not laughing.

Since love does not act unbecomingly it means that love will act with purity and moral uprightness. When we show love, we will restrain ourselves from saying or doing anything that is indecent and vulgar and shameful. Our speech and actions will not be of darkness, but will reflect the light of God's purity and holiness.

What is love? One facet of love is not acting unbecomingly. When we are pure, then we are reflecting the love of Christ.

Love is not provoked; does not take into account a wrong suffered

Love is not provoked. The idea here is that love is not provoked to have a long term, seething anger. An outburst of anger is like a cloudburst that quickly comes and goes, being provoked is more like a slow, steady drizzle of anger.

Going hand-in-hand with this is the second statement. Love does not take into account a wrong suffered. Love does not harbor a grudge, love does not seek retaliation, love does not want to get back, or to get even, or to seek revenge on someone.

The desire to get even leads to all sorts of evils: with Cain it was murder (Genesis 4:3-8); with Absolam it was rebellion and war (2 Samuel 13-18); with Haman it was attempted genocide (Esther 3:1-15); with Timothy McVeigh it was blowing up a building full of people in Oklahoma City.

When we are provoked and hold a grudge against someone friendships are destroyed; churches split; families and marriages are ruined. I cannot count the number of times I have counseled couples who hold on to all the wrongs their spouse has done over the years. Wrongs, both real and imagined, are stored up in a mental file folder to use against a person when we want to get back at them.

Since love is not provoked and does not take into account a wrong suffered, this means that love is forgiving. Not the mamby-pamby, shallow forgiveness that is the current rage, but forgiveness that is true and deep and complete, no matter what was done or not done. One of the best definitions of forgiveness that I have come across is from John MacArthur's book entitled The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness:

I imagine at this point there are some who are mentally raising their hands in protest:

And the list of horrors goes on.

And God expects me to forgive?!? You are right, I do not know all the horrors that have come into your life- but God does. And yes, as a matter of fact, He does except you to forgive.

Sometime ago we trusted ourselves to some people whom we thought were mature Christians and were our friends. Only later did we discover that they used the secrets we shared with them against us. They turned on us, they lied to us, they stabbed us in the back. All the time they were doing it, there was "God-talk" and a smile plastered on their face. I honestly say, it was the most vicious and ungodly situation I had ever found myself in. It hurt, it was painful. To this day if I indulge myself, my blood can still boils over it all. But do you know what the most difficult part of it was? After it was all over, we went to the foot of the Cross and forgave these people. To this day, they have never asked for forgiveness, they have never acknowledged that they did anything wrong.

Love forgives. We are not responsible for other peoples actions and attitudes, we are responsible for our own. And the Lord calls for His people to forgive.

When we do not forgive someone and when we hold a grudge against them, we may not be tempted to murder them or something so drastic, but we do punish in other ways-- a cutting comment, a public humiliation or embarrassment, a cold shoulder, gossiping about them, talking about them behind their back, maybe even telling the truth about what happened and enjoying every minute of it.

Forgiveness is probably one of the most difficult acts the Lord call us to do. Especially when we have every right to get back at someone for something they have said about us or done to us. But always remember, if we are followers of Christ, He forgave us of all that we did wrong against Him. He calls us as His people to do the same.

What is love? One facet of love is not taking into an account a wrong suffer, not holding a grudge. When we forgive, then we are reflecting the love of Christ.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things

Earlier I likened love to a diamond. We have looked into its depths and have appreciated it subtly and beauty. Now we step back and give it a quick turn so that we can enjoy the whole once again.

Love bears all things. The idea here is that love covers all things. It means that when we show genuine love, then we will be more concerned with covering up the faults and failures of others, remain silent about them, rather than being quick to broadcast them for all to hear. Love will make us jealous to protect the good name and reputation of others.

If someone does or says something unkind, rather than spreading it around in indignation, we will forgive them and keep our mouths shut. If someone says something inappropriate, or tells an off-color joke or story, rather than letting it be know far and wide that brother so-and-so needs his mouth washed out with soap, we will pray for them and perhaps go to them in private. It means that parents will not air the family's dirty laundry for all to see and hear. It means that wives will treat their husbands with respect and will be hesitant to gripe and grouse and grumble about how he is not living up to standard. It means that husbands will love their wives by not publicly broadcasting what their wives tell them in private.

Love believes all things. This does not mean that we are to be gullible. If someone comes up to us and says, "The moon is made out of Swiss cheese," we are not to say, "Oh, I love you, so I believe you."

It means that true and genuine love will have confidence in other people. We will believe well of them and have a good opinion of them. Love will put the best face on everything, love will be optimistic about people and will be slow to judge.

When the tailgater comes zooming by and cuts in front, it is not because he is a jerk, but there must be some emergency that he needs to get to quickly. If someone is being cranky and difficult, it is because there must be some problem at home and I need to pray for her. Love will be hesitant to jump to conclusions, because we all know that oftentimes there is more than meets the eye.

When I was in seminary a rumor spread like wildfire that one of the students had been expelled because he had committed adultery while in school. Now I am not generally the eternal optimist, but I could not believe it. I had several classes with this fellow, he knew God's Word, he was a good student, he had wonderful musical abilities and could lead a worship service that even the angels would approve of. There must be some mistake. There must be some other explanation.

But it was true.

Love believes all things, but we can never have a good opinion of sin. It is true that love bears all things, but in some cases we are commanded to make sin public. So how does love operate under these circumstances? This is the third statement.

Love hopes all things. The word hope in the Bible is not a vague wish. It is always used to mean "confident assurance" or "sure expectation." This means that love is certain, sure and confident. But it is vital to know that our hope is not in ourselves, nor is it the power of positive thinking, nor is it confidence in the inherent goodness of man. Hope always has as its object of faith God and His character. We are not to be like the world who has their own opinions of God, we know who He is, He has revealed Himself. God is sovereign, He answers prayer, He is not limited by anyone or anything whatsoever, He is compassionate, merciful, gracious, He works in people's lives to bring healing, reconciliation, forgiveness and salvation. He gives His people the strength and courage and tenacity to live with and overcome any problem or situation we may face.

After describing God like this, J. I. Packer in his classic book Knowing God asks some penetrating questions:

Even when sin rears its ugly little head, love will have hope and confidence in the power of God to bring repentance, reconciliation, forgiveness, restoration and change. This is so crucial in the case of a marriage where one of the spouses is a believer and the other is not. Never despair about the salvation of your husband or wife but have hope in the Lord. Christian wives, pray for your Christian husbands to do well, and if there is some area where he is not living up to God's standard, pray for him, trust that the Holy Spirit would change him. Christian husbands, pray for and listen to your Christian wives. Pray that they would feel secure and would do well in whatever responsibility they have. Christian parents, Christian grandparents, never hang your head in despair over a rebellious child. Bring them up right, do what is right, but also have confidence in God and His ability to change that child's life.

Love endures all things. There is a persistent quality about love, a stick-to-it-ness attitude. Love endures, perseveres, love is steadfast, love remains. It does not come and go based on the actions or attitudes of others, love is not fickle, it does not stop or withhold itself if others disappoint or fail us, but it remains regardless of what others do.

When others do something that would make us blow up in anger, we endure and will not give in to our angry passions. When others are unkind, we endure and show good to them, show them favor and are gentle with them. When others are greedily grabbing for whatever toys they can accumulate in this life, we endure to remain content with what the Lord has given us. When others are infatuated with themselves and brag and boast over what they have or what they have done, we endure to remain humble before God. When others are making vulgar jokes or are speaking of things which are indecent, we endure to remain pure before the Lord. When we are wronged and just want to retaliate and get even, we endure by forgiving them as God has forgiven us. When others sin, we endure to protect their reputation. When other are quick to judge, we endure to believe the best. When others are consumed with hopelessness and despair, we endure to put our confidence and hope in the Lord. When others are ready to give up, we endure with endurance.

If you are like me, right about now you are feeling incredibly overwhelmed and small and guilty. At some point, and probably in several points, in this list from 1 Corinthians 13 all of us fail and struggle. There is not one of us, even the most mature of Christians, who lives up to this every minute of every day. I dare say that everyone will fail to live up to one or more of these points within the next hour. And yet, this is what the Lord expects to see in our lives! How is it possible?

How is it possible to love others?

Love, as described in 1 Corinthians 13, is not natural to us. Sin has destroyed our ability to love this way. No one has to teach us to be unkind, for example, but being kind is difficult. The only way possible for us to obey the command to love one another is through the enabling power of the indwelling Holy Spirit as He ministers in our lives. Herein lies the secret: Christian love, the love of Christ shown through us, is a gift given to us by the Holy Spirit.

The ministry of the Holy Spirit in our lives is like the wind. The wind blows where it wants as hard as it wants. But we never see the wind itself, all we can see are its effects as it blows tree branches. Likewise, we cannot see the Holy Spirit, but we can see the effects of His presence in a person's life. In Galatians, these effects of the Spirit are called fruits: the natural growth that occurs when a person is rooted and grounded in Christ. Love is a fruit of the Spirit, or a natural result of what the Spirit gives us because of His presence and activity in our lives. These are qualities that cannot be legislated (against such things there is no law) but they must come from a source outside of ourselves. Notice that the fruit that heads this list of nine is love.

There are three crucial truths we need to keep in mind when talking about the fruit of love:

(1) Only Christians can have the type of love that Scripture commands.

The Scripture is very clear when it comes to our position or status before God. When it is all said and done, there are only two kinds of people: a person is either in Christ or they are outside of Christ. A person either has the ministry of the Holy Spirit operating in their life, or they do not. There is no middle ground. Since love is a fruit of the Spirit, only those who are in Christ have the ability to show that love that He commanded.

(2) Love comes from the Lord.

Since love is a fruit of the Spirit, it means that love is not a fruit of man. The love that Christ commanded us to have cannot be produced by us. It cannot be conjured up by us. It is not the result of our efforts. Love is a characteristic of God, and He gives it to His people through the ministry of the Holy Spirit.

(3) Love is a fruit that grows.

Many of us love to work in the garden. We know that when a tree or a plant produces its fruit, it does not pop out on the branch fully mature. Think of a tomato, it starts off as a flower and then a little green ball appears. It gets bigger and eventually turns a pale yellow. And when it is fully mature, it is a deep red and is ready to eat.

The same analogy holds true in our Christian lives. Love matures and grows in us with time. All of us are at different points in our spiritual life and journey. Some are just green buds starting out. Some have been on it for a while and are more mature. This fruit of the Spirit matures in us. And as we mature and grow as Christians, so will the love that Christ commanded us to have.

In 1805, a Mr. Cram from the Boston Missionary Society gave a presentation of the Gospel to a group of Indian chiefs and warriors at Battle Creek, NY. After the sermon, Red Jacket, one of the leading chiefs, stood and replied: "Brother, we are told that you have been preaching to the white people in this place. These people are our neighbors-- we are acquainted with them. We will wait and see what effect your preaching has upon them. If we find it does them good, makes them honest and less disposed to cheat Indians, we will then consider again what you have said."

The world is watching the church and your unsaved neighbors, friends and family members are watching you. In this case, as is true in most other cases as well, actions do speak louder than words. We may know our Bible backward and forward; we may be able to answer any question that anyone asks about Christianity; we may have a great zeal for the Lord; we may be ready to die a martyr's death.

But if we do not have love, in the words of Scripture, we are nothing.

Christian brother and sister, if you have any care for the health of your eternal soul and your witness of Christ in this dark and perverted world, then pray and strive to live a life of self-sacrificial, Christ-centered, God-honoring love.

Questions

1. How do I know that Christian love is not an emotion or a feeling? What are some dangers in thinking that is? How is loving someone different than liking someone?

2. Where does love come from? How can I judge whether I am a loving person or not?

3. What does "patience" mean? What do the following passages teach about patience: Psalms 86:15; 103:8; Proverbs 14:29; 15:18; 16:32; 17:27; 19:11; Nahum 1:3; 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15; 2 Peter 3:9? What makes me impatient? How do I change?

4. What does "kindness" mean? What do the following passages teach about kindness (gentleness): Proverbs 3:3-4; 19:22; Matthew 11:25-30; Ephesians 2:4-7; Colossians 3:12; 2 Timothy 3:24-26? What makes me unkind? How do I change?

5. The following passages address jealousy and envy: Proverbs 6:34; 27:4; Song of Solomon 8:6; Matthew 27:18; Acts 5:17; 7:9; 13:45; 14:30; 17:5; 30:15-16; Romans 13:13; 1 Corinthians 3:1; Galatians 5:16-24; James 3:16. Where does jealousy come from? Why do we express it? What happens when jealousy is aroused?

6. With whom do I tend to be jealous of? Why? How does it affect me? Do I want to change? Why or why not? How do I change? How have I seen maturity and growth in contentment over the past year?

7. Read Psalm 10 a couple of times. The divisions are listed below. What would you entitle each division?

8. What do the following passages teach about our thought life: Psalms 19:7-14; 104:34; Mark 7:20-23; 2 Corinthians 10:5; Philippians 4:8? What bearing does this have on being pure? What do I let my mind feed on from television, books, magazines, movies, etc. that God would consider crass, vulgar, and indecent? What should I do about it?

9. If what I thought about and meditated on were projected for all to see, how would I feel? What is my responsibility in maintaining my own purity before the Lord?

10. According to Ephesians 5:1-2, 25; Colossians 1:13-14; 2:13; 3:12-13; 1 John 4:10-11, who and what is the standard and model for love and forgiveness? How does this translate to my life?

11. What should I do when I have truly forgiven but not forgotten? How does Luke 23:33-34 and 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 give me perspective?

12. How does each facet of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 cut against the grain of what we naturally are? How does God give us the ability to go against our natural inclinations and fulfill His command to love one another?

13. Which facet of love do I have the most problems showing? What is my part and what is God's part in bringing change Who can I trust to share this with and ask to pray for me?