Janis' " 'Twas the Night"

'Twas the Night before Implementation

'Twas the night before implementation and all through the house,

Not a program was working, not even a browse.

The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,

With hopes that a miracle soon would be there.

The users were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.

When out in the machine room there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But Super Programmer (with a six pack of beer).

His resume glowed with experience so rare,

He turned out great code with bit-pusher flair.

More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

On Update, on Add, on Inquiry, on Delete,

On Batch Jobs, on Closing, on Functions complete.

His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean.

From weekends andn ights in front of a screen.

A wink of his eye, and a twitch of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,

Turning specs into code, and then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger upon the <enter> key,

He brought it all up and it worked perfectly.

The updates updated, the deletes, they deleted;

The inquiries inquired and closings completed.

He tested each wistle, he tested each bell,

With nary an "abend", all had gone well.

The system was finished, the tests were concluded,

The client's last changes were even included.

Yet the clients exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,

It's just what we asked for, but not what we want!